Reporter: Manny, anong bill ang gagawin mo kapag congressman ka na???
Manny: Anong bill??yung tomotonog pagkatapos ng bawat round sa bukseng???
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
Upsets in the just-concluded polls
"I only took the part where he talk about Manny Pacquiao"
By Ramon Tulfo
Inquirer
Last updated 02:27am (Mla time) 05/17/2007
The biggest loser in the electoral contest is boxing idol Manny Pacquiao who ran for the congressional seat of South Cotabato. He suffered a knockout at the hands of a woman, reelectionist Darlene Antonino-Custodio, who was running scared and was the underdog.
Pacquiao’s political defeat will probably also make Pacquiao a beaten man in the ring. His low morale will lead to his defeats in his next bouts. If only he didn’t become an uto-uto (sucker) to his friends and admirers.
* * *
Pacquiao thought that the people’s adulation would send him to Congress. He was drunk with their shouts of hallelujah when he came home after his victories.
His song, “Para sa Iyo ang Laban na Ito,” became a platinum record.
What he didn’t know was that people bought his record because they found his voice funny. Imagine, a man with the voice of a boy and a thick Visayan accent to boot having the gall to sing! It’s much like a village fool thinking that because children followed him around, he was greatly admired.
By Ramon Tulfo
Inquirer
Last updated 02:27am (Mla time) 05/17/2007
The biggest loser in the electoral contest is boxing idol Manny Pacquiao who ran for the congressional seat of South Cotabato. He suffered a knockout at the hands of a woman, reelectionist Darlene Antonino-Custodio, who was running scared and was the underdog.
Pacquiao’s political defeat will probably also make Pacquiao a beaten man in the ring. His low morale will lead to his defeats in his next bouts. If only he didn’t become an uto-uto (sucker) to his friends and admirers.
* * *
Pacquiao thought that the people’s adulation would send him to Congress. He was drunk with their shouts of hallelujah when he came home after his victories.
His song, “Para sa Iyo ang Laban na Ito,” became a platinum record.
What he didn’t know was that people bought his record because they found his voice funny. Imagine, a man with the voice of a boy and a thick Visayan accent to boot having the gall to sing! It’s much like a village fool thinking that because children followed him around, he was greatly admired.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Pacquiao taking a beating from Custodio in General Santos
INQUIRER.net
Last updated 10:09am (Mla time) 05/15/2007
MANILA, Philippines -- Reelectionist Darlene Antonino Custodio is ahead of world boxing champion Manny Pacquiao in the congressional contest in General Santos, according to a report on GMA Network.
Quoting from the partial unofficial AMA count, the report said Custodio has garnered 14,060 votes while Pacquiao has 6, 790 votes
Although not a joke... nakakatawa parin eh hehehe.
Last updated 10:09am (Mla time) 05/15/2007
MANILA, Philippines -- Reelectionist Darlene Antonino Custodio is ahead of world boxing champion Manny Pacquiao in the congressional contest in General Santos, according to a report on GMA Network.
Quoting from the partial unofficial AMA count, the report said Custodio has garnered 14,060 votes while Pacquiao has 6, 790 votes
Although not a joke... nakakatawa parin eh hehehe.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Fish be with you
Media: "You're running as congressman, how is the peace & order in Gensan?
Manny Pacquaio: "Ang FISH marami. Pero ang ORDER kaunti lang"
Manny Pacquaio: "Ang FISH marami. Pero ang ORDER kaunti lang"
Monday, May 7, 2007
Partners in crime
JENG GACAL: Mike, how much have you stolen from Manny? You should not exceed that from what I am stealing from him.
MICHAEL KONCZ: hi Jeng, no ... not much. I dont want to outshine you. We are both cool with each other .. right?
MAYOR MANNY: (napadaan) ... Hey .. you two, what are you talking about? You seem to be talking about me.
JENG & MIKE: hello Manny! No ... we are just playing poker.
MAYOR MANNY: ohhh .. good. Can I join?
MICHAEL KONCZ: hi Jeng, no ... not much. I dont want to outshine you. We are both cool with each other .. right?
MAYOR MANNY: (napadaan) ... Hey .. you two, what are you talking about? You seem to be talking about me.
JENG & MIKE: hello Manny! No ... we are just playing poker.
MAYOR MANNY: ohhh .. good. Can I join?
Political confusion
Comelec: Mr Manny Pacquiao, Can you please decide now sir what will it be? You run for a Mayor position in Gen San or Congress position in your district?
Manny: Teka Lang... (wait) Ok Mayor! hmmm.... Pero ano kaya mainam? (esep esep...) Congress na lang kaya? hmmm Teka Lang... (wait) Mayor OK din pero kung Congressman mas mukhang big time! Confusing eh. Anong position ba ang may Pork Barrel? Pwede ba dalawa? Teka lang ha, ask ko muna si JING.
Manny: Teka Lang... (wait) Ok Mayor! hmmm.... Pero ano kaya mainam? (esep esep...) Congress na lang kaya? hmmm Teka Lang... (wait) Mayor OK din pero kung Congressman mas mukhang big time! Confusing eh. Anong position ba ang may Pork Barrel? Pwede ba dalawa? Teka lang ha, ask ko muna si JING.
Tax axe
MEL TSONGLO: AHH..MANNY BAKIT KA BA TALAGA PUMASOK KA SA PULITIKA? EH NAKAKATULONG KA NAMAN SA BAYAN KAHIT DI KA TUMAKBO??
MANNY: DEH NAMAN PU YON ANG DAHELAN iH..KASE PU ITUNG MGA LINTA SA GOBYIRNU ANG LAKI KUNG MANINGIL NG TAX SA AKIN...KAYA PINAYUHAN AKO NG AKING AMPONG AMANG SI LETO MAKULETZ ATINSYA NA KONG GOSTU KO DAW PO MALIBRE AT MAPALIIT UNG TAX KO ABAY! TUMAKBO DAW AKO S PULITKA!
OHA! OHA! OHA!
MANNY: DEH NAMAN PU YON ANG DAHELAN iH..KASE PU ITUNG MGA LINTA SA GOBYIRNU ANG LAKI KUNG MANINGIL NG TAX SA AKIN...KAYA PINAYUHAN AKO NG AKING AMPONG AMANG SI LETO MAKULETZ ATINSYA NA KONG GOSTU KO DAW PO MALIBRE AT MAPALIIT UNG TAX KO ABAY! TUMAKBO DAW AKO S PULITKA!
OHA! OHA! OHA!
Weight escape
COMELEC: Manny, I am sorry but we are disqualifying you to run for a Mayor position in GenSan
MANNY: Why naman you will disqualify me sir, I climbed onto the scale. The scale reads 129.5 lbs.
MANNY: Why naman you will disqualify me sir, I climbed onto the scale. The scale reads 129.5 lbs.
Ballot galore
VOTER MANNY: (looking at the ballot) san ako pipirma rito miss?
POLL DEPUTY na miss: Manny, di po yang contrata. Balota po yan
POLL DEPUTY na miss: Manny, di po yang contrata. Balota po yan
Pac in gradeschool
GRADE 6 TEACHER: Ok, class ... time is up. submit your exam papers.
GRADE 6 CLASS: (submits all their exam papers)
GRADE 6 TEACHER: (browses through the exam papers and notices Manny's paper that has not been answered at all). Manny, why is your paper blank?
GRADE 6 MANNY: No Ma'am ... it is not blank. I have signed it already.
GRADE 6 CLASS: (submits all their exam papers)
GRADE 6 TEACHER: (browses through the exam papers and notices Manny's paper that has not been answered at all). Manny, why is your paper blank?
GRADE 6 MANNY: No Ma'am ... it is not blank. I have signed it already.
Spiderman-ny
Media: being a mayor, will you do everything in your power to build Gen San?
Manny: You know, with great power comes great responsibility !
Manny: You know, with great power comes great responsibility !
Gensan Space Station
NASA: Mayor Manny, we want to build a space station in your city. Here is the blueprint of that space station.
Mayor Manny: Great! Now where would I sign?
Mayor Manny: Great! Now where would I sign?
Contractors
CONTRACTOR 1: papirmahan natin to kay manny. wag na natin to idaan sa bidding. may signing bonus namna sya eh.
Mayor Manny: (Signs)
CONTRACTOR 2: papirmahan natin to kay manny. wag na natin to idaan sa bidding. may signing bonus namna sya eh.
Mayor Manny: (Signs)
Vice Mayor Jeng Gacal: Manny, bat mo pinirmahan ito? di ka ba nagbabasa?
Mayor Manny: Akala ko binasa mo na kaya pinirmahan ko.
Mayor Manny: (Signs)
CONTRACTOR 2: papirmahan natin to kay manny. wag na natin to idaan sa bidding. may signing bonus namna sya eh.
Mayor Manny: (Signs)
Vice Mayor Jeng Gacal: Manny, bat mo pinirmahan ito? di ka ba nagbabasa?
Mayor Manny: Akala ko binasa mo na kaya pinirmahan ko.
Kid Kotong
Kid Kotong: "Mayor Manny we need to build a bridge, gime me 10 million!"
Mayor PAC: OK give me the contract and I'll sign it right away!"
Kid Kotong: "Alraytii" (tiba-tiba na naman ako!)
After 6 months
Mayor PAC: "Hey where's the bridge that we built?" "I can't see it!"
Kotong Kid: "The bridge was located at Koronadal"
Mayor PAC: "Why in Koronadal?"
Kotong Kid: "Coz we have no budget there, and we knew that you have
the resources to fund our bridge, Our people wants to
thank you!"
Mayor PAC: "I thought It was meant for my constituents at Gensan?"
Kotong Kid: "Didn't you read the contract?" It was stipulated there that we are going to build a bridge at Koronadal and not gensan!"
Mayor PAC: OK give me the contract and I'll sign it right away!"
Kid Kotong: "Alraytii" (tiba-tiba na naman ako!)
After 6 months
Mayor PAC: "Hey where's the bridge that we built?" "I can't see it!"
Kotong Kid: "The bridge was located at Koronadal"
Mayor PAC: "Why in Koronadal?"
Kotong Kid: "Coz we have no budget there, and we knew that you have
the resources to fund our bridge, Our people wants to
thank you!"
Mayor PAC: "I thought It was meant for my constituents at Gensan?"
Kotong Kid: "Didn't you read the contract?" It was stipulated there that we are going to build a bridge at Koronadal and not gensan!"
Jab jabs
MEDIA: Manny, manny ... ngayong nanalo ka na ng pagkamayor ... how will you give jobs to your unemployed constituents?
Manny: HUh? That is easy you know. I am more a power puncher than a jabber. Dont worry, I'll hire my friend Eric. He is good in giving jabs. I felt his jabs in our first fight. He can teach me how to give jabs.
Manny: HUh? That is easy you know. I am more a power puncher than a jabber. Dont worry, I'll hire my friend Eric. He is good in giving jabs. I felt his jabs in our first fight. He can teach me how to give jabs.
KAMPI
KAMPI 1: (celphone rings) hilo, hilo ... si manny pakyaw to. pasensya na po, nde ako makakarating. (celphone's off).
Liberal Party 1: Yahoo ... manny signed up with us to run under our party. We gave him $1M signing bonus and we promised him that he is assured to be on the mayoralty seat for 3 years.
Liberal Party 2: Yes! So when will he take his oath as politician of LP?
Liberal Party 1: Tonight!
Liberal Party 2: Alright! We will take KAMPI by surprise!
Manny Pacyaw: (taking oath as a new party member for Liberal Party)
KAMPI 1: attention partymates, manny just called to inform he can't attend our event tonite and a reliable source called me a while ago that he saw manny on TV taking his oath as a new member of the Liberal Party for $1M and promised a 3 year term as a mayor of gensan.
KAMPI's GMA: ohhh wala yan.. not to worry my partymates, just show Manny a paper with $2M signing bonus, give him 6 year term as a mayor. Just make sure you bring in a pen so he can sign right there and then.
Liberal Party 1: Yahoo ... manny signed up with us to run under our party. We gave him $1M signing bonus and we promised him that he is assured to be on the mayoralty seat for 3 years.
Liberal Party 2: Yes! So when will he take his oath as politician of LP?
Liberal Party 1: Tonight!
Liberal Party 2: Alright! We will take KAMPI by surprise!
Manny Pacyaw: (taking oath as a new party member for Liberal Party)
KAMPI 1: attention partymates, manny just called to inform he can't attend our event tonite and a reliable source called me a while ago that he saw manny on TV taking his oath as a new member of the Liberal Party for $1M and promised a 3 year term as a mayor of gensan.
KAMPI's GMA: ohhh wala yan.. not to worry my partymates, just show Manny a paper with $2M signing bonus, give him 6 year term as a mayor. Just make sure you bring in a pen so he can sign right there and then.
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